Let’s start off with this – I am Madam Miseryguts and I want the retail sale of fireworks banned. Not only because the freaking idiots letting them off every night for a month screw up my sleeping patterns, leave sh*t on my roof, scare kids/dogs/cats, set off fires so causing a high workload for Fire Service staff & leave the rest of us to foot the bill but because every year some backyard Rambo maims himself/someone else. One year that was nearly my brother D’s eye; I still remember blood, tears and my mother ranting (it was a justified rant and not at dad) & panicking.

If we aren’t paying for Len Brown’s personal gym at Town Hall then there is plenty of money to spend on public displays and plenty of appropriate places and vantage spots in Auckland.

Anyway, rant over. Last night we went to the FIL’s for a bonfire. FIL is a widower whose stepdaughter has JUMPED at the chance to live almost free in her mother’s old house, relegating the FIL to a small cottage on the property. This is regardless of the ammt of money FIL put in over his marriage to J (and I think he is only just realising that he’s been stiffed by the will. If it wasn’t for J snagging him, a married man at the time, there would be no house/orchard/business). I can’t stand this woman; she is mean, small minded, petty and grasping. Her husband is almost as bad and both like to blame breakages on anyone else – including my children who are so rarely there it’s a joke. So I was really looking forward to this evening. Yeah, right. Whoops, that’s another rant.

We didn’t really congregate with this D and her “friends”. We brought our own! Which sounds kind of bad, but really, no money changed hands!

I’ll leave you with this thought that I heard as part of a comedian’s soliloquy – is it unfair that we celebrate the activities of a domestic terrorist given today’s global situation? Is it just plain stupid?

I’m not my best on a Monday. Especially if one’s neighbours set off fireworks past eleven at night. $@%^%^^% So I rely on a routine, and a planner. Coffee, and chocolate. Chocolate is a better carrot for me than actual carrots, even given my ex would call me an ass. Monday means methodical. I usually record what I need to do in my work planner on Fridays as I can turn off work when I have a plan for the next day. My favourite planner is very simple and if you’re in NZ or AU is available through Office Max. Everywhere else it is available from the publisher or Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/AT-A-GLANCE-Remember-Two-Days-Per-Page-Planning-80-6204-30/dp/B003OERJJY

0525: Alarm goes off. Roll over and DO NOT SNOOZE (I can allow myself to snooze later on in the week)

0600: leave house. Sometimes re-enter house if Z has forgotten something.

0630: first coffee at desk. Run sales reports; send F his extra report (my boss is currently travelling)

0700: Breakfast with the other early starters. Laugh until second coffee threatens to come out my nose. Kiss Z goodbye (he comes with me as he buses from my work to his school in central Auckland)

0715: run vendor’s weekly or fortnightly reports. Stitch or read while each report runs; email to appropriate vendor.

0900: weekly Sales meeting. Involves Category, Ops, DC, Marketing & Online peeps, and sometimes Call Centre and Store. Usually a bit of a laugh.

1000: start with the teas, have snack. Finish any outstanding vendor reports. Respond to any Monday vendor emails, also accounts. Then start responding to Store delivery issue emails.

1300: walk with Sarah DB to mall/library/circuit – the plan is to get out of the office!

1330: lunch. Usually leftovers, or Vita wheat with Puhoi basil feta and tomatoes, two things Simon can’t stand. On Friday it’s sushi for a treat. Work supplies fruit so that’s one less thing I have to remember.

1345: afternoons are a little more variety. More store issues, respond to new emails (I have a thing about clean email inbox).

1530 – 1600: Escape. Timeframe depends on which bus Z catches but I like to be on the motorway before 4. If I get on later I’m caught up in the factory finishes from Patiki and I hate rush hour traffic. I hate it more than getting up early. Another bonus has been the time each day with Z (although he is currently very annoyed that he has kitchen duties) and the books we are listening to. Right now it’s Chronicles of Nick by Sherrilyn Kenyon. He likes the action and I’ve liked this author’s adult series because of the mythological aspects. However it’s gone a bit stupid for me, like too many sequels often do so I stopped a while ago.

1730: prep dinner. M & B have swim lessons on Mondays at the Base pool so are knackered when they get home. Early dinner, early bed means less tantrums. Except from whomever is on kitchen or bathroom duties.

1930: all three are in bed, usually B & Z read to themselves and M has a story. Currently David Melling, Joy Cowley, Lynley Dodd or anything Cars. New favourite is reading Thomas/Rev W Awdry with dad.

2030 – 2130: crash.

We have what is today conventionally a large family, four kids. No plans for more,  BTW, please no more God! But we brought a people mover years ago when we just had two kids, & all jokes aside,  it was one of the best things we ever had.

Friends of ours ended up with a PM for a South Island road trip years ago when Avis rented their booked Holden Commodore to someone else. Jonesy raved about it for ages. Children separate, no fighting,  plenty of room for stuff and nice to drive.

We got a Honda Odyssey. Seven seats, sun roof, all the bells and whistles that Japan could come up with in 1998. We drove all over the North Island. Twice around the clock. League games. Netball games. Kayak trips.  Two more children. Designated driver trips, listening to happy tales. All I missed was the Labrador.

But the gear box started to go last year. I avoided using it as much as I could, choosing to drive the Toy Car even when it had a leak. I tried to convince Si that we needed to replace it, but he holds onto cars for as long as he can. I was long past the love.

Then yay! Everything fell into place. And I have a new friend. And it’s an Odyssey. Again. But new shape. Again in white! But no sunroof. Or Labrador. That bit sucks.

Z and the Beast. Bye bye Beast.