Friday Review: 10 Things

Hi everyone! Day 9 of official NZ lockdown, day 14 for us and things are pretty level. We are allowing the kids to do whatever today, although Si is now out with a drop saw, so good luck with the “sleep all day” goal that one of them set!

10thingsThis morning I have been listening to Laura Tremaine. I’ve talked about her work in the past and I’m sure I’ll talk about her in the future – I find her to be real, to show empathy, humorous and good-natured, and I think she’s probably a pretty awesome wife & mum too. This last episode was aptly titled : Marry The Person You Could Quarantine With & I think too, I’m fortunate in my choice.

Laura’s intro is:

 

I’m Laura Tremaine.

I live in Los Angeles. I’m a reader, a podcaster, a wife, and a mom.

At all times, I have (at least) 10 Things To Tell You. And I know that YOU have 10 Things To Tell.

This place is about connection, with each other and with ourselves. We can only do this by opening our eyes and seeing others and (even harder) by letting ourselves be seen.

Let’s tell our stories.

Let’s share our stuff.

I’ll go first.  

https://www.10thingstotellyou.com/podcast

10 Things to Tell You Podcast Edition – On Are You Lonely?

Last year in September I took part in Laura Tremaine’s Instagram challenge about 10 Things to Tell You. She’s now expanded this to a podcast (iTunes or if you’re on an android phone, I recommend the Podcast Addict app) and each week, there will be a mini challenge. This week it’s about being Lonely.

Her prompts are ARE YOU LONELY or WHEN WERE YOU LONELY? I’m not ready to talk yet about the low portions of my loneliness except to say – it passes. It has always passed. Life has always gotten better.

A few things I took from this episode:

  1. Former US Surgeon General Viveck Murthy calls loneliness an “epidemic.” You can feel lonely even when surrounded by people. Very true.
  2. I HAVE told myself a false narrative. As in, no one possibly understands what I’m going through. No one loves me. No one will miss me. This is of course a load of bollocks, but remember its ok to go thru a period of wallowing in self-pity – but also remember that you will feel better once you contact with other people. Even if it’s a smile and a thank you at the supermarket checkout.
  3. Laura says a key to connection is having a regularly scheduled thing to look forward to. I totally agree – Saturday morning bootcamp walks are always a highlight.
  4. Are online connections real? Laura’s question and my answer is YES. Totally. There will always be people who are a shadow of themselves, but there will conversely always be people who are real. Supportive.
  5. It’s about belonging. (See further reading: Brene Brown) It’s essential in relationship not only to feel loved, but to feel liked. Much. Truth.

If you want to talk or reach out, I’m here. Note that comments on this post won’t be “public” unless you specifically state that you want your comments out there. X

10 Things to Tell You – The End!

Thank you so much to those of you who reached out, either on the blog, twitter or in person, and commented on their #10thingstotellyou thoughts! I loved learning little things about you.

Today’s prompt is: what will you ask me in three months? And I have virtually nothing. I’m blank. I have no short term goals, I’m a little burnt out with activity & already feeling short tempered at the idea of all the holiday things coming up.

Ugh. I guess it’s time to go to Bethells.

10 Things to Tell You #9

This is a mini-series hosted by @laura.tremaine on IG. I’ve chosen to post my responses here & I hope you’ll play along.

#9 – MY MAGICAL RESET BUTTON IS… Bethells Beach, on the wild West Coast of Auckland. It’s the photo in my header, a 25 minute drive from home that winds from busy suburbia to rural farm to black sand beach. It’s feeling the wind in my hair, hearing the roar of the sea and tasting the salt on my tongue. It’s a feeling of freedom and letting go of burdens as I walk along, occasionally run, sometimes attempt cartwheels. I kick the ball back to the kids, hurl sticks or soggy tennis balls for other people’s dogs and feel God’s grace extend to every part of my body.

10 Things to Tell You #8

This is a mini-series hosted by @laura.tremaine on IG. I’ve chosen to post my responses here & I hope you’ll play along.

#8 – SOMETHING I’M STRUGGLING WITH RIGHT NOW IS…anxiety, abandonment and feeling that I’m just not good enough. Drama at work, drama at home and the recent death of my estranged step-father kicked off so many bad feelings. I am working thru these feelings in a far more constructive way than I did in 2007 so bonus points for learning something!

10 Things to Tell You #7

This is a mini-series hosted by @laura.tremaine on IG. I’ve chosen to post my responses here & I hope you’ll play along.

#7 – A RECENT DISCOVERY I CAN’T HELP TALKING ABOUT… we went on a wee getaway to New Plymouth on the weekend (but made it home in time to see B win an award at the referee’s dinner. I won that parenting time trial). The local i-site is at the museum, Puke Ariki, and they had a new exhibit due to open the following weekend.

But in typical ‘Naki fashion, they finished the job early so we got to see the National Geographic Top 50 Photographs. Walking down the stairs into the exhibition hall, the first thing I saw was a massive (I’m talking like 4 A0) copy of the Afghan girl. You know the one – the striking eyes.

1117554-502761-34

There’s captions and a video to tell you more about each shot. I totally recommend this exhibit, so if it’s within a drive of your home, GO. We’re going again when it’s in Hamilton later this year – it’s moving back overseas in 2019.

https://www.nationalgeographic.org/traveling-exhibitions/50-greatest-photographs/

10 Things to Tell You #6

This is a mini-series hosted by @laura.tremaine on IG. I’ve chosen to post my responses here & I hope you’ll play along.

#6 – A DEFINING MOMENT IN MY LIFE WAS WHEN…we moved to Auckland. My parents had separated by this stage and there were no adults around to share the load. I learnt to help my mother get my brothers off to school/day care, and by 14 I was pretty much fully in charge of their day-to-day life. No wonder 30 years on I’m getting tired of being responsible for others…

10 Things to Tell You #4

This is a mini-series hosted by @laura.tremaine on IG. I’ve chosen to post my responses here & I hope you’ll play along.

#4 – I AM STRANGELY GOOD AT…growing weeds, if you ask Si. Pulling random facts out at pub quiz, if you ask a friend. I am not very good at remembering jokes so I’ll always have a giggle, even if it’s fourth child pulling out the same knock, knock joke.

10 Things to Tell You #3

This is a mini-series hosted by @laura.tremaine on IG. I’ve chosen to post my responses here & I hope you’ll play along.

#3 – A THING THAT CHANGED MY WORLD VIEW WAS…I don’t know that I’ve ever held a different view on the world than I do now. I guess (mostly, there are always exceptions) that we down here in NZ are practical, welcoming, generous people who know that we are strategically unimportant on the world stage, but generally strive to leave the place better than we found it. Various events around the world make me shudder, but there is evil everywhere and that’s why it’s important to just BE KIND to one another, and to ourselves.