I’m feeling more than a little off today. It’s the first Monday of the new fiscal month here at work, so it’s busy-busy-busy yet I want to play (as I write this I’m heading into the last couple of hours and I’ve cleared today’s reporting requirements and am up to the 23 store emails from Friday, so at least that’s something). As a family we have a new routine this week with Si away (we’ll see him briefly on Thursday but that’s it until Sunday). I am absolutely stoked to have finished Cloudsfactory A-Team (only 6 stitching nights!), a huge chunk of Persephone’s skirt for Stitch Maynia’s colour challenge (over 2K stitches or nearly half a skein!) and a new start on Emma Congdon’s Wise Words trilogy (altho for now I only want to do the Tolkien). Both my Secret Santas this year are really hard!!!

And on a personal note, I am struggling with forgiveness.

On Saturday my eldest brother let me know that his dad, my stepfather, is very ill and has been admitted to hospital. JM is 87, so this may be his time, but I am struggling to give a crap. I’m on empty when it comes to him & my (biological) mother – and that’s where I have an issue. Great that I’m not angry or disappointed or frustrated anymore – but where is my Christian spirit? My heart is so hard. I imagined visiting and telling him that I forgive their selfishness and the hurt they caused; but as neither honestly believes they have wronged anyone of us children this would be a waste of time, and would hurt me more. I’m having trouble lifting this burden. Please remember me in your prayers this week. x