Recently I’ve been struggling with the actions of an extended family member – it’s amazing. You chose someone, they chose you, & everything is expected to go swimmingly. It doesn’t. Not even in fairytales.
But I’ve learnt a few things this week, and I now have a post-it front page of my planner. It’s there to remind me:
It’s none of my business to know what X thinks of me. It’s OK to ignore (the bad behaviour). It’s OK to walk away. It’s OK to limit time spent with X. It’s OK to ask X politely to leave my home.
I’m finding this simple but powerful. It reminds me it’s not OK to be rude or mirror what is done to me. To that end, I’ve removed or blocked X from my social media accounts, and interestingly (as he didn’t like what X tagged him in or implied what he was) B has chosen to do the same. I’ve chosen not to name X, as that would be equally wrong. But my little finding this week might be helpful to someone else, so I chose to share.
I came to this finding reading a couple of blogs and discovering a book (I know, what a shock). I’ve only read some excerpts but I’m heading to a Manna today to get the paperback & the study guide.
http://thebestyes.com/ The Best Yes is about coming to a biblical understanding of the commandment to love one another. If you click into the link, you can read chapter one for free & see some other material. I don’t think that the concept about loving one another is necessary only for Christians; having respect & empathy for our fellow man is a concept that rings true in most religions, even Wicca’s “and it harm none” is the same directive as Jesus’ commandment in John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (NIV). Even if you profess to be an atheist, I’m sure you have a respect & empathy for others.
The other book could be just as important. Ali Edwards (one little word) contributed to The Fringe Hours, by Jessica N Turner ( http://www.themomcreative.com/ ) which is about using time you already carve out for FaceTwitGram & using it effectively to renew your soul. Ali blogged about it here http://aliedwards.com/2015/02/the-fringe-hours?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+aliedwards+%28Ali+Edwards+2014%29 The image above is going on my phone to remind me. I also find this quote meaningful: